I have experience with low self-esteem/low self-confidence so I have my own system to help myself every day. I call it OPSR.
O - Oracion is the Spanish word for prayer. That’s optional since everyone has differing beliefs.
P - Perspective. Change your perspective. This may not seem very effective in the beginning, but it is. You have to be willing to try. Basically, you have to convince yourself you are valuable. One way to change your thinking is to combat negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, if you think, “I am worthless,” replace it with, “I have permanent value and I can bring many things to the table.” Do it with all of your negative thoughts. Another way is daily affirmations. When you’re alone, say lines out loud like, “I don’t have to be perfect to be like myself.” There’s a bunch of affirmations online. Just Google them.
S - Self-care. Obviously, we should take care of our personal hygiene, but we can take it a step further. If your skin isn’t sensitive, use scented shower gels, lotions, and bubble bath soaps. Style your hair differently. Wear dressy clothes often. Girls can experiment with makeup. See what works best for you. People will wonder and question if you’re doing this to impress someone. Just say, “I like looking good for myself,” and smile, then walk away if that’s all they wanted to know.
R - Repetition. Repeat this multiple times daily. You can’t expect things to work if you only try it once or twice and you won’t feel better after the first few tries. You might begin to feel better in a week’s time. It may take longer, but be patient. Besides, all of the good things in life were struggled for.
Okay, back to actually faking confidence. Consider the good traits and abilities you have and/or that people say you have and then show them off. If you’re good at creative writing, ask your counselor to post your work somewhere. If you have a nice smile, smile more often even if you don’t feel you have a reason. Then, walk around with your head held high and make appropriate eye contact. Flash a smile. Laugh until you shed tears. I noticed that putting my best parts out there makes me feel better.
Take care of yourself.
J. A.